How many times have you ever found yourself spinning your wheels about a situation, struggling to make a decision about one of your many wants, because what you really want was contingent of other people lives, events or different circumstances.
It seems so puzzling and complicated to make one decision and stick to it, knowing that there will be no one else to blame and you will be the only one accountable for your success or failure. You are ready for success, but what if this choice will deem to be unfortunate one.
You try to iron out all ifs and buts, all outs and ins only to become more discouraged staring at the collage of obstacles that seem to be compiling to the point of leaving you paralyzed.
What is a path here? Is there a path at all? Is there a way to get what you desire without throwing others completely out of their comfort zone? True answer is: in all honesty – it does not matter!
Of course nothing will change if you do not get proactive. Things rarely resolve themselves – someone usually resolves them for you – thus taking away your power to create your own life.
Here is the deal – it all starts with your decision that is as simple as yes or no. Yes – do you truly want what you want, or no – do you truly not? All other clutter of contingencies is just empty fluff over a simple solid answer. That is what it boils down to – yes or no.
Once you pick a side you set the intention and if worse comes to worst you’ve made a decision that at that time was right for you, simply because you chose it.
To break the cascade of never stopping thoughts you have to decide what you can or can not do. Moreover, what result of this situation is acceptable to you? You need to realize, that the second guessing and obsessive thinking and questioning is your minds way of protecting you from harm. To halt the grapevine of doubts you have to identify patterns that fuel those reactions. Those fears and obstacles can be very real and tangible. It is your job to explore them, figure out if there is real basis to them, and set proper boundaries that you will not cross.
In the long run it does not matter whether this want is rational or unreasonable. You want what you want, and it is ok to want things even those you cannot have. There is a reason you want what you want. It is your job to find out the reason you want it, but before you do it you have to determine whether you truly want it.
Make a decision. Set the intention. All your shouldn’t and cant’s are just your ways of muffling your feelings, stifling the true innate answer that is obvious. Say you do or say you don’t. Do not stand undecided. Pick one. It only takes one.
© Tatyana Bondarenko
* Play on words on Evanescence song “Say you will or say you won’t”