I am still here…

Are you nice to me
Because you want a second chance?
Or are you nice to me
Because you still think you are better?

Do you truly see me as I am?
Or do you only want the information,
To miniscule, humiliate and ridicule me
In manner so familiar to you?

Do you see my shades of Crystal Blue?
Or is your world still a pathetic grayscale?
I do not need your pity or your shame
I do not want your fakeness. I want raw and real.

I will only go through with this circus,
If you embrace the truth about this world:

“Everything ends
Everything dies
The catalyst is change
And it’s a chain reaction…”

I hope someday you’ll
Look right though the veil of splitting,
And finally see some color.

I hope someday your psyche
Will overthrow your mind,
And you’ll move on from past.

I hope that when you’ll need advice –
The source will feed you answers.
And one day when you’ll need a friend –
You’ll come across my number.

I shall not waste my time
To prove that I have changed.
Proving implies a cause for disbelief.

I am a different person
Than whom you used to know.
And yet, I’m here and I’m still open.

I’m tired of old image haunting me.
It presents itself in form of limitations.

I am the one who shall determine
What those limits shall be.
Though the echoes of the past
Still hold perceptions in collective.

I am not asking for your trust.
I am only asking for indifference.
Indifference to the person that I was.

You have to clear the old
To make the room for new,
Then you will see,
Then feel the difference.

Get off your horse!
Stop thinking that you know me!
Do not assume
You know my thoughts.

Do not forget that
I know your true feelings.
A person feels,
And your true motives show.

You cannot fool my true innateness!
I see the fake – barbed wire around your space.
Relax and try to be more open-minded.
And just this once put a smile upon your face!

I am still here. I’m open and I’m waiting.
I’m waiting for you to take a chance.
A chance to be a real human being,
Waiting for you to finally drop the act.

Still here…

© Tatyana Bondarenko

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